Through Moms Window / I am Nobody Special

I had my friend Barbara make this stain glass Rose, for mom's rose room den.

It was by her computer area.

Notice her collage of her love ones all around her.

I made this picture and this title back on July 23, 2009. My plan was to write a post about the woman beyond this window, my mom. I was letting it simmer in my brain so I could do her justice because I just couldn't throw any words out there, they had to really show her in the truest form. (one reason because she would be reading it and my goodness it had better be right by her! second she deserves all the praise I can shout out about her)

Well, as most of you know I lost my beautiful mother on January 5th of this year. So, now I sit to try to breathe without the air that filled my lungs for 49 years. To try to tell you all just how wonderful she was, how she sacificed raising 3 kids alone. (insert I harbour NO, resentment for the Tom Jackson who along with my mother created me but split when I was 6 months old and I have never laid eyes on him...but hey thanks... we had mom to ourselves and didn't need anything from you either to survive!)

but really seriously how do people have kids and just never see or talk to them ever???

So needless to say this story has taking a horrible left turn on me. My biggest fear was losing my mom, I had know idea it would be this soon and so unexpected.

Monday the 4th we went and ran some errands, about lunch time she said she felt like she might be getting a cold. I go panic mode because she did have a weak immune system and the last thing she needed was a cold. So, we started precautions. I talked to her at 8:38 that evening and told her I hope felt better and she wasn't getting real sick, don't over medicate, get some rest and call me if she needed anything.

Phone rang Tuesday morning at 7:44 am ..it's pops cell phone...

instant panic not a good sign

"Darlene Come Quick"

I flew across the yard, flew pass pop opening the door, flew into moms room.

I tried CPR even though I knew it was too late, I dialed 911 in total shock...

Then I called my sister....

then my brother....

I am nobody special

I know I am nobody "special" or rare...people lose their mom and dad every day.

I am nobody special

However my Mom was a very special and rare person. She was my best friend, We were always together. My siblings are 4 and 5 years older than me not a big deal now but when your younger it is. So, I was a little longer leaving moms. (insert did ya ever leave-uhmmm a couple of years)Then 7 years ago I moved into her and pops back yard How blessed was I. In all my years I never recall my mother raising her voice in anger to me or to anyone. She always had a smile, a laugh and a song in her heart.

So far 2010 is roaring in... 1/5/2010 mom, 1/17/2010 mom and pops 30th wedding anniversary, 1/24/2010 would have been my moms 72nd birthday.

I also lost a dear friend on 1/7/2010

I am nobody special

She was my sister and brother's best friend too

we are not special

She was Everybody's best friend, that is who KK was.

My biggest fear in life was my fear of losing my mom. I am meeting that fear head on. (really what choice do I have) I am nobody special. I was blessed to have her for 49 wonderful years. Others have felt that loss much more earlier than 49 years. I have so many memories packed in for those wonderful 49 years! So blessed am I!!!

I am nobody special

I made this post title back in July to pay a different and another tribute to KK because she was somebody that special. But I had no clue she would not be around to enjoy it. Because KK was special and she was all about all the attention being directed her way...because she was funny and comical that way and special. Thank goodness she made us take a Gazillion pictures of her! Seriously if there is one photo album, not counting what we the kids have, she has well over 300 hundred of them! No, YOU don't want me to prove it!

I am nobody special, but to my Mom, I was special and she always made me feel like I was somebody really special. (and not because I ride the short bus)

I am nobody special

Oh but how special my mother was, mere words cannot capitulate let alone do her enough praise

(but I have a feeling you all will be dealing with a lot of KK praising coming in the future)

I am nobody special

but ooooh she was

how very very special she was

I will never be the same without her....
Remember when I had this picture made for her Mother's Day 2009 we had so much fun that day, I took a Gazillion pictures that day too....look how happy I looked...and fat....damn! Fat and Happy Gooood Times

now some crazy family shots with mom from mother's day 2009

sorry pop this is what happens when shorty takes the picture

how Blessed were we!!!

to be continued....

xoxo
dar

Geaux Get Your Read On!

'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'